Aggressive behavior is part of children's development and appears as a stage in their childhood. It is very likely that you will find yourself in the situation of our mother in the Community, DiaClau, who expresses her concern in the forum: "I have a boy of 1 year and 9 months who knocks, pulls his hair and above he can bite. And I do not know how to stop him. . No good guy to do it worse. Even the beautiful does not work. I do not know how to get rid of these habits. " Feeling devoid of solutions? Find out some useful tricks to learn from these reactions!
Understand the reasons behind aggressive behavior to help!
Young children act on impulse. When this happens, aggressive behaviors appear: hit, bite, throw, break, etc. They are not able at the age of 2-3 years, also known as the age of destruction, to control their impulses, so it is important to understand what are the reasons behind his behavior to help him overcome them and stop with these unpleasant habits .
The aggressive behavior of the young child can be understood in several ways:
manner of asserting the personality;
a form of communication (when I do not know how to express their emotions and feelings verbally);
as a reaction to stressful or frustrating situations;
from the need to be in the center of attention (to attract your attention);
out of curiosity, to test the cause-effect relationship, they follow the "if I do x what happens" principle
How do you discourage your child from these aggressive behaviors?
Parents often make mistakes in how they respond to the behavioral problems of their children. They test and try to solve these problems using almost always the extremes:
either they punish them harshly, using repressive mode, anger and yelling at trying to stop them from doing these things;
either they are too permissive and overlook these actions quite easily, rooting them even further in their behavior.
Here's how to effectively control the child's aggressive behavior:
Even if you have 2-3 anisors and seem to not understand or listen to you when you tell them that they should try to tell you verbally you want and what it feels like to act instead, it is important to insist! Eventually, the child will understand, if you have the patience!
Don't ignore the aggressive facts of the child!
It acts as soon as the child behaves aggressively. You don't have to overlook the facts. For example, if your little one hits another child at the playground, tell him or her that you have noticed this, that it is not good what he / she did, that you should tell him / her what displeases him and that for this you will leave the playground. .
Help your child to calm down!
It is important to stop his behavior immediately, but not through screams and anger, but in a calm and positive tone. Try to empathize with his condition and show understanding of what he is feeling. Tell him that you understand that his friend probably upset him and hurt his feelings, but that he doesn't have to do the same. Then give it a time-out.
Don't go out of your way!
Learn to control your nerves in front of the child! Because sometimes that's exactly what you want: to draw your attention, regardless of your reaction. For him, paying attention (even screaming and criticizing him) is better than ignoring him and not bothering him too much! He knows that now and in this way he is aware!
Teach your child to resolve conflicts peacefully and in a positive way!
Every occasion when the child acts impulsively and behaves aggressively is an opportunity to teach him how to resolve conflicts peacefully, without using physical violence. You can help yourself with role-playing games for children, creating imaginary conflict situations and having them solve them. Teach him to express his emotions and talk about what he feels when he comes to throw things or bite and tell him that when he does not know how to stop, he must seek the help of an adult!
Tips and dilemmas of moms in the community regarding aggressive behavior in young children
Nicole13: I think all children react like this at one point, so it shows their inability to say / do something or just so it comes to them at that moment! I say, don't be alarmed, just stop it all the time to learn it's not allowed to do that!
Ana07: And we are facing a similar problem. For about a month Filip started to show up violently if he didn't like something, but he didn't hit. She screams and shoves herself on the floor. But I noticed that he does nothing but repeat what he sees around, not necessarily to his parents. We, for example, never raised my voice to him, when he didn't want to do something I distracted him or, if it wasn't an imminent epricol, we left him alone and he got bored. But it was enough to see children in the park fighting or screaming and doing the same. I keep repeating that it is not beautiful, but unfortunately I cannot isolate it from society, and violent people are everywhere. He is small, but I try to teach him that he is not beautiful. Also, one day when he didn't listen, my dad hit him slightly on the hand (which is why I got really upset). It was only once that now that something does not suit them to shake hands and tell us that we are not happy. So what I can tell you is that violence arises violence, but unfortunately many around us apply methods not exactly conventional. I try to keep Philip away from them and tell him that he is not beautiful.
Alisandor: I also had the same problem with my little girl, she is 2 years old and when I went to the park she started to split palms in front of the children, on the left and on the right. It was painful, I was embarrassed by my moms. I noticed that only in children younger than her. I tried to explain to him that he was not allowed, I ran over his sleeve, for nothing. We have never beaten her, very rarely it happened to give her a palm to the ass, home did not see that. Before entering the park I warned her: if you hit a child we would go home, and so I did, I kept my word. I mention that he does not speak, so I do not know why. It held a period after which, as it appeared, it disappeared. It was hard, because I had to always be behind her, and when I saw her raise her hand, I grabbed her hand and explained that it was not allowed. Patience!"
Tags Child aggression Child behavior Child biting Parent reactions aggressive child Child conflicts Child emotions